Holidays that involve staying home from work and getting paid anyway are the best to the MAX.
But alas, someone has to pay the rent. So today we return from our three day "sit around in your underwear all day unless you're out drinking beer" weekend with a palpable fun deficiency. Sounds like a job for the SOF.
Just because you're back at work doesn't mean there isn't something to celebrate. Here are some ideas in...the spirit of celebration.
1. May 30-HAPPY LOOMIS DAY! What the hell is Loomis Day? God, I wish I knew. I've deduced that its either a day to celebrate the great and powerful Mahlon Loomis, the world's first wireless telegrapher or a day when a bunch of kids get together and watch gory movies because they really like Halloween. Yeah, I don't know. Why not make up your own reason. Maybe today you can celebrate sandwich makers, cork boards or diet coke. Personally it's a toss up. I think I'll either celebrate the lady that stands in front of Penn Station selling the New York Post or the girl that tells you which cashier to go to at Whole Foods. I think they both deserve a toot toot.
2. May 31-HAPPY GREAT AMERICAN GRUMP OUT DAY! The best part? I didn't make this up! Today gives you purpose for bitterness. Amen.
3.June 1-HAPPY ARTISTS OF AMERICA DAY! Sass up your cube with some American art. Rock out with your Thomas Cole out. And chicks will sweat your Alice Swett. Wow. What a major nerd alert.
4. June 2-HAPPY I LOVE MY DENTIST DAY! I've always loved my dentist because he refers to the toothbrush I receive at the end of my cleaning as a "consolation prize." Gee...I wonder what the grand prize is.
So there you have it. Crisis Averted. It's a short week and one worth celebrating. So dig up your party hats, let your hair down and give the SOF an enthusiastic toot toot for all the fun that is yours for the taking.
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